Today I graduated from the 5th grade.

There I was standing in a crowd of parents

waiting on our child’s name to be called. I

stood there as my mind shifted back to

hearing my name across the loudspeaker. I

was wearing a black dress with tiny white

daisies all over it. I stood and walked on

stage, collecting my diploma and thinking I

can’t wait till I’m grown up. Sitting back

down I visualized myself in a pantsuit my

hair in a sexy semi-messy ponytail and

holding a briefcase. I knew I was going to

be a leader in standing for the rights of

women everywhere. So I’m assuming I was

a lawyer or along the lines of someone in a

high political position.

Kaylyn Perez! I cheer, there she is my kind

and powerful little girl taking her walk

across the stage to collect her diploma and

I can’t help but wonder what she’s thinking

at that moment. Is she imagining what her

future looks like as I did when I walked at

my ceremony?

When the music started I dropped back

into my memories of elementary school

and junior high. I realized at this point that

for the first time in my life I wasn’t in tears

about what was going on at home at that

time in my life. I wasn’t dwelling on the

bullying and or sexual abuse I was

experiencing. I actually was remembering

how excited I was when I thought about all

the women I would be helping and the

books I would be writing. There was no

doubt in my mind that I would be

successful. I would make a difference.

How do we lose this spark? Is there a

certain part of our brains that hold these

powerful beliefs that switch off at a certain

part of puberty? OR are our child super

powers stripped away by the way media

celebrates tragedy and sexualizes every

product. Diet culture is slapping us left and

right screaming at us that we must satisfy

the eyes and opinions of every single

person that runs the modeling industry. Is

it when we visit colleges on field trips and

we become aware of the pressure of

choosing a major that will be the one thing

we get to do in our lives?

I mean as children we use our

imaginations and pretend to be anything

we choose at any moment without the

approval or applause of anyone. Is it

because at some point an authority figure

tells us its time to grow up and stop playing

around, to take life seriously…

Maybe it’s the traumatic events that take

place and disrupt the security even in our

own bodies. Is it really the chemical

imbalances that are the result of such

events. Heartache and abandonment that

some go through and we find ourselves

alone leaving us to feel like we did

something terrible and we aren’t worthy

any longer of enjoying our lives?

Then there’s the one question that we are asked over and over again.

” What do you want to be when you grow up?”

After having done major shadow work and

walking through my healing process for all

the shit I’ve experienced in life this

question still hits me and is hard to

swallow..

Instead of answering this then with, A

lawyer or doctor or teacher, I took this

opportunity being in the space of this

ceremony to re-ask myself this very

question… and stripped away the doubt

and fear and care about societies opinions.

I envisioned myself standing on the stage

and declaring into the mic ” I am kind,

courageous and bold. I am someone who

stands and speaks for those who don’t have

a voice. I am strong and soft and I cry. I am

empathetic and a leader. I am generous

and loving. I see people for who they truly

are and mirror their gifts back to them. I

believe in magic and miracles and

manifestation.

I believe we create our

reality and we can do anything.  and this

is all I ever want to be when I grow up.

When I opened my eyes all but a few

minutes 3 or 4 at most had passed and my

daughter was with her class ready to be

presented as the culminating class of 2019.

I was in tears and when we finally got to be

side by side I took her hands and told her

how proud I was of her and how she was

going to be an amazing person her whole

life as she is now in this moment.

Rather than asking her what she wanted to

be when she grows up, I simply told her to

remember that she can do anything she

desires, all she needed to do was be herself,

who she is in every moment and she will

find herself doing her hearts work and

living a powerful life.

Take yourself back to a moment as a child,

open your heart to the power of

imagination and creation you once ran

with. what did that feel like? What parts of

that child are still in you? What parts

would you love to return to? What’s in the

way?

I invite you to take a look and allow

in what comes. There is magic there.I am

grateful to be a leader to others in how to

return to themselves. To discover who they

truly are. I am overjoyed to walk women

through some of the hardest experiences of

their lives that dimmed their light and

create the life they truly desire being

exactly who they authentically are.

If this resonates with you and or sparks a desire to go within I hope you do and know that I’m happy to support you. 

Arose

Ashley Rose

Well, I finally gathered the courage to let my fears subside and start sharing this journey with you all. I'm finally fulfilling my dream of helping others find their light and go for what they are passionate about. Finding peace within themselves and letting loose their fears and self sabotaging judgments. I get to introduce fun once again into life. Embracing who they truly are and we do it in such a way that we enjoy the process, no matter how uncomfortable it can get, we start to get excited about the emotions and thoughts that uncomfiness brings about. Shedding past restraints and creating a life you want.

One thought on “Today I graduated from the 5th grade.

  1. Such a fantastic post it is so inspirational and empathetic. It truly describes a childhood that reasonates with most of us no matter what gender and ethnic background. Keep sharing what’s in your mind Ashley Rose, the world knows it needs more women like you…..👍

    Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s